At the time of writing this, my heart is steaming with someone I am not sure who. Just this morning when I had prepared a good meal for the entire family to sit together during lunch, one of my boys spoiled the perfect picture I had in mind by eating half of it all by himself.
I was almost crying in disbelieve. What a demeanour! Well, it is never wrong to eat, let alone to enjoy a good meal, but to selfishly eat a large portion by himself is certainly NOT OKAY!
I did not scold him, but I had to do what I have to do, that is; telling him why it is not okay. Accepted, I hope! He did not respond to me, let alone to return even a quarter of the portion he had taken.
Then came the after-effect that I really hate having after every lesson I teach my kids. It was the long hours of keeping myself isolated thinking whether it was alright to tell him what I had told. Was it even done in an acceptable manner or was it just him who was so ignorant? I was even upset with myself that I was half-heartedly sorry for highlighting his mistake. Can a mother feel sorry for telling the right things to their children?
And as much as you know about motherhood, we; mothers have super-power ability to self-heal from the troubles we put ourselves into. There were we – back to giggling together and talking about lives over lunch.
But that did not last for long.
Just as I was about to take my nap, my husband began to say something that I almost took it with another crying weekend. He was explaining a series of events in which our son had rebelled upon being highlighted of what he should have done better or right. I responded by telling him that mannerism is something learned at young age and if he is not corrected today, he will live thinking he is right. Our discussion went on for a moment before we both ended in silence.
This time I think choosing to end it with a complete silence was the right thing to do.
My silence continues till this very moment. Far from going against him (and it helped me to type this peacefully tho, LOL), but rather to discover something new that I learned from not taking everything with tears and using my brain cell an inch extra than I usually do.
I learned a golden rule today that family formation is really a result of team effort. It takes both parents to raise the children. It takes both parents to be on the same page to implement something new for the children. I also learn that as much as we find it hard, children too feel the same when it comes to taking new lessons. I learned after a hard new lesson, it is essential to give the children some time to digest everything they are taught.
Last but not least, children are really pure and the kindest people on earth no other than children. They take every lesson in many ways they are never told to expect. Then, they slowly accept the lesson and blame hand in hand with very little rejection unless you teach them how and finally, they make lessons in life as parts and parcels of their lives and move on with smiles and joy all over again. Ain’t it beautiful? MasyaAllah, may Allah bless our children.
I sighed alone and smiled feeling grateful for the lesson I learned out of the silence I chose today. For once after so many times of hitting the walls, I feel so accomplished. I look forward to having more chances to pause at any kinds of conversation, listen more and take everything with less teary eyes.
Have a good weekend, mothers.
Cry less and smile more.